From Destruction to Renewal: Lessons from Yosef, Yaakov, and Asarah B'Teves
by R. Eliezer Simcha Weisz
In Parshas Vayigash, Yosef reveals himself to his brothers, leading to an emotional reunion and the beginning of a new chapter for Yaakov’s family. After 22 long years, the brothers reunite and bring Yaakov down to Egypt. The Torah describes the poignant moment when Yosef and Yaakov finally meet:
"וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו וַיִּפֹּל עַל־צַוָּארָיו וַיֵּבְךְּ עַל־צַוָּארָיו עוֹד" (Bereishis 46:29)
Yosef falls on his father’s neck and weeps, overwhelmed with emotion. According to most commentators, Yosef cries, though Ramban suggests it was Yaakov. Either way, this moment is deeply moving for both father and son.
Despite the drama and history behind their reunion, Yaakov says nothing about the years of separation, nor does he ask why Yosef never wrote or explained his disappearance. Instead, his only words are:
"אָמֽוּתָה הַפָּעַם אַחֲרֵי רְאוֹתִי אֶת־פָּנֶיךָ כִּי עוֹדְךָ חָי" (Bereishis 46:30).
“Now I can die knowing you are alive.”
Yosef also avoids discussing the past. Rather, he focuses on practical matters, telling Yaakov:
"אֶעֱלֶה וְאַגִּידָה לְפַרְעֹה וְאֹמְרָה אֵלָיו אַחַי וּבֵית אָבִי אֲשֶׁר בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן בָּאוּ אֵלַי" (Bereishis 46:31).
“Let me go to Pharaoh and arrange where you will live.”
Why did neither father nor son address the past? Yaakov, Yosef, and their family had endured tremendous pain, but they chose not to dwell on it. Instead, they looked to the future. Yosef, aware of the challenges ahead, prioritized reuniting his family and safeguarding their spiritual identity. He immediately began arranging for the family to settle in Goshen, ensuring they would remain distinct and avoid assimilation.
Similarly, in our present day, when facing trials, we too must find strength not in revisiting past losses but in our commitment to a hopeful future.
This approach of looking toward the future also explains another puzzling moment in Parshas Vayechi: Yosef needed to be informed that Yaakov was ill:
"וַיֹּאמֶר לְיוֹסֵף הִנֵּה אָבִיךָ חֹלֶה" (Bereishis 48:1).
Why was Yosef not spending more time with Yaakov, especially given their years of separation? The Midrash (Pesikta Rabati) explains that Yosef was afraid Yaakov might inquire about the past—specifically the brothers’ betrayal—and curse them for their actions. For this reason, Yosef avoided being with his father. Yosef, having recognized his brothers' repentance, chose to focus on the future instead of reopening old wounds
This mindset reflects a larger theme in Jewish life: pain and tragedy should propel us forward, not paralyze us in despair. After revealing himself to his brothers, Yosef and Binyamin reunite. The Torah describes their meeting:
"וַיִּפֹּל עַל־צַוְּארֵי בִנְיָמִן אָחִיו וַיֵּבְךְּ וּבִנְיָמִן בָּכָה עַל־צַוָּארָיו" (Bereishis 45:14).
Rashi comments:
על צווארי בנימין אחיו—על שני מקדשים שעתידין להיות בחלקו של בנימין וסופן ליחרב. ובנימין בכה על צוואריו—על משכן שילה שעתיד להיות בחלקו של יוסף וסופו ליחרב
"Yosef cried over the two Batei Mikdash that would stand in Binyamin’s portion and ultimately be destroyed, and Binyamin cried over the Mishkan in Shiloh, which would stand in Yosef’s portion and ultimately be destroyed."
Even in their moment of reunion, Yosef and Binyamin wept—not over the past, but over future tragedies. Their tears reflect a profound understanding of the need to balance acknowledgment of pain with a forward-looking determination to rebuild.
Yaakov similarly cried when he first met Rachel, not about past hardships but because he foresaw that they would not be buried together:
וַיִּשָּׁק יַעֲקֹב לְרָחֵל וַיִּשָּׂא אֶת־קֹלוֹ וַיֵּבְךְּ (Bereishis 29:11).
רש"י: ויבך. לְפִי שֶׁצָּפָה בְרוּח הַקֹּדֶש שֶאֵינָהּ נִכְנֶסֶת עִמּוֹ לִקְבוּרָה
He prophesied that they would not be buried together (Rashi).
This forward-thinking approach is also evident at a bris milah, where we bless an infant:
כְּשֵׁם שֶׁנִּכְנַס לַבְּרִית כֵּן יִכָּנֵס לְתוֹרָה, לְחֻפָּה וּלְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים
Just as he has entered into the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, marriage, and good deeds. (Shabbat 137b)
Even at the start of life, we look ahead to the child’s future growth and accomplishments.
This brings us to Asarah B’Teves, a fast that always coincides with the reading of Vayigash and Vayechi, the parshiyos detailing Yosef’s reconciliation with his brothers, his reunification with Yaakov, and its aftermath( commemorated this year on the Friday before Parshas Vayechi ). Asarah B'Teves is unique among the minor fasts in that, according to some halachic authorities, it would be observed even if it fell on Shabbat, similar to Yom Kippur. This is due to its designation in the Torah as "בְּעֶצֶם הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה" ("on this very day"), indicating its significance just like Yom Kippur .
Thus the Beit Yosef (Orach Chaim 550:4), citing the Rabbeinu David Abudraham highlights the uniqueness of Asarah B’Teves:
וה"ר דוד אבודרהם כתב בהלכות תענית שי' בטבת הוא משונה משאר תעניות שאם היה חל בשבת לא היו יכולין לדחותו ליום אחר מפני שנאמר בו 'בעצם היום הזה' כמו ביום הכיפורים
“The Abudraham writes that the fast of the 10th of Teves is distinct from other fasts because, unlike other fasts, if it were to fall on Shabbos, it could not be postponed, as it is described with the phrase ‘on this very day,’ similar to Yom Kippur.”
The Beit Yosef comments: "ולא ידעתי מנין לו זה"—"I do not know the source for this." Referring to the assertion of the Abudraham that Asarah B'Teves would be observed even if it fell on Shabbat.
This unique characteristic may reflect the profound significance of Asarah B'Teves, likening it to Yom Kippur in its emphasis on personal responsibility and future planning. Asarah B'Teves is not merely a commemoration of the onset of Nebuchadnezzar's siege of Jerusalem;
it serves as a reminder that the ensuing 30 months of siege could have been utilized for reflection and repentance, potentially altering the course of history.
The fast encourages us not to dwell on past suffering but to take proactive steps toward a better future. Similar to Yom Kippur, Asarah B'Teves focuses on forward-thinking—setting aside the past to concentrate on future improvement. These days are not solely for mourning but are opportunities for introspection, growth, and proactive planning for a better tomorrow
In addition to Yom Kippur and Asarah B'Teves, there is a third fast, Taanit Chalom (a fast after a troubling dream), which can be observed even on Shabbat. Unlike other fasts that mourn past tragedies and are forbidden on Shabbat, Taanit Chalom (like Yom Kippur and Asarah B'Teves )addresses anxiety about the future by encouraging introspection and personal growth. The Gemara (Berachot 31b) explains that fasting after a disturbing dream can annul negative decrees, making this practice constructive by shifting focus from sorrow to proactive self-improvement.
On Simchat Torah 5784, Am Yisrael faced unimaginable loss. Yet, rather than succumbing to despair, we united in battle, prayer, and mutual support.
Though the war has now endured for almost 450 days, bringing fear and uncertainty, we remain steadfast in our confidence that, just as in the past, we will persevere and witness brighter days ahead. We are resolved to focus on the future, refusing to dwell on the pain of the past.
As we read the parshiyot of Vayigash and Vayechi and commemorate Asarah B’Teves, we are reminded to direct our thoughts and actions toward the future. The fast, together with the lessons from the parshiyot recounting Yosef and Yaakov's resilience and unity, urges us to take responsibility for what lies ahead—strengthening our commitment to Torah, fostering unity within our communities, and actively shaping a brighter future for Am Yisrael.
The Rambam writes about the transformative potential of each person's actions:
לפיכך צריך כל אדם שיראה עצמו כל השנה כולה כאילו חציו זכאי וחציו חייב, וכן כל העולם חציו זכאי וחציו חייב. חטא חטא אחד—הרי הכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם כולו לכף חובה וגרם לו השחתה; עשה מצוה אחת—הרי הכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם כולו לכף זכות וגרם לו ולהם תשועה והצלה, שנאמר 'וצדיק יסוד עולם' (משלי י,כה)
Therefore, a person must view themselves all year as if they are half meritorious and half guilty..., and the entire world as equally balanced. If they commit one sin, they tip themselves and the entire world to the side of guilt; if they perform one mitzvah, they tip themselves and the entire world to the side of merit, bringing salvation and deliverance…” (Hilchos Teshuvah 3:4)
Let us demand of ourselves to tip the scales through acts of kindness, unity, and responsibility. As the Rambam challenges us, one good deed can change the course of history:
לפיכך צריך כל אדם שיראה עצמו... חטא חטא אחד... עשה מצוה אחת
“Therefore, a person must view themselves all year as if they are half meritorious and half guilty... If they perform one mitzvah, they tip the scales for themselves and the entire world toward merit and bring salvation.” (Mishneh Torah, Hilchos Teshuvah 3)
The challenge before each of us is clear: perform one mitzvah and change the world!
May Hashem bless us with the wisdom and strength to take responsibility for our actions, the courage to face the challenges ahead, and the unity to rebuild a world filled with Torah, mitzvot, and sanctity. May we merit to see the ultimate redemption, speedily in our days.
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From Destruction to Renewal: Lessons from Yosef, Yaakov, and Asarah B'Teves
by R. Eliezer Simcha Weisz
In Parshas Vayigash, Yosef reveals himself to his brothers, leading to an emotional reunion and the beginning of a new chapter for Yaakov’s family. After 22 long years, the brothers reunite and bring Yaakov down to Egypt. The Torah describes the poignant moment when Yosef and Yaakov finally meet:
"וַיֵּרָא אֵלָיו וַיִּפֹּל עַל־צַוָּארָיו וַיֵּבְךְּ עַל־צַוָּארָיו עוֹד" (Bereishis 46:29)
Yosef falls on his father’s neck and weeps, overwhelmed with emotion. According to most commentators, Yosef cries, though Ramban suggests it was Yaakov. Either way, this moment is deeply moving for both father and son.
Despite the drama and history behind their reunion, Yaakov says nothing about the years of separation, nor does he ask why Yosef never wrote or explained his disappearance. Instead, his only words are:
"אָמֽוּתָה הַפָּעַם אַחֲרֵי רְאוֹתִי אֶת־פָּנֶיךָ כִּי עוֹדְךָ חָי" (Bereishis 46:30).
“Now I can die knowing you are alive.”
Yosef also avoids discussing the past. Rather, he focuses on practical matters, telling Yaakov:
"אֶעֱלֶה וְאַגִּידָה לְפַרְעֹה וְאֹמְרָה אֵלָיו אַחַי וּבֵית אָבִי אֲשֶׁר בְּאֶרֶץ כְּנַעַן בָּאוּ אֵלַי" (Bereishis 46:31).
“Let me go to Pharaoh and arrange where you will live.”
Why did neither father nor son address the past? Yaakov, Yosef, and their family had endured tremendous pain, but they chose not to dwell on it. Instead, they looked to the future. Yosef, aware of the challenges ahead, prioritized reuniting his family and safeguarding their spiritual identity. He immediately began arranging for the family to settle in Goshen, ensuring they would remain distinct and avoid assimilation.
Similarly, in our present day, when facing trials, we too must find strength not in revisiting past losses but in our commitment to a hopeful future.
This approach of looking toward the future also explains another puzzling moment in Parshas Vayechi: Yosef needed to be informed that Yaakov was ill:
"וַיֹּאמֶר לְיוֹסֵף הִנֵּה אָבִיךָ חֹלֶה" (Bereishis 48:1).
Why was Yosef not spending more time with Yaakov, especially given their years of separation? The Midrash (Pesikta Rabati) explains that Yosef was afraid Yaakov might inquire about the past—specifically the brothers’ betrayal—and curse them for their actions. For this reason, Yosef avoided being with his father. Yosef, having recognized his brothers' repentance, chose to focus on the future instead of reopening old wounds
This mindset reflects a larger theme in Jewish life: pain and tragedy should propel us forward, not paralyze us in despair. After revealing himself to his brothers, Yosef and Binyamin reunite. The Torah describes their meeting:
"וַיִּפֹּל עַל־צַוְּארֵי בִנְיָמִן אָחִיו וַיֵּבְךְּ וּבִנְיָמִן בָּכָה עַל־צַוָּארָיו" (Bereishis 45:14).
Rashi comments:
על צווארי בנימין אחיו—על שני מקדשים שעתידין להיות בחלקו של בנימין וסופן ליחרב. ובנימין בכה על צוואריו—על משכן שילה שעתיד להיות בחלקו של יוסף וסופו ליחרב
"Yosef cried over the two Batei Mikdash that would stand in Binyamin’s portion and ultimately be destroyed, and Binyamin cried over the Mishkan in Shiloh, which would stand in Yosef’s portion and ultimately be destroyed."
Even in their moment of reunion, Yosef and Binyamin wept—not over the past, but over future tragedies. Their tears reflect a profound understanding of the need to balance acknowledgment of pain with a forward-looking determination to rebuild.
Yaakov similarly cried when he first met Rachel, not about past hardships but because he foresaw that they would not be buried together:
וַיִּשָּׁק יַעֲקֹב לְרָחֵל וַיִּשָּׂא אֶת־קֹלוֹ וַיֵּבְךְּ (Bereishis 29:11).
רש"י: ויבך. לְפִי שֶׁצָּפָה בְרוּח הַקֹּדֶש שֶאֵינָהּ נִכְנֶסֶת עִמּוֹ לִקְבוּרָה
He prophesied that they would not be buried together (Rashi).
This forward-thinking approach is also evident at a bris milah, where we bless an infant:
כְּשֵׁם שֶׁנִּכְנַס לַבְּרִית כֵּן יִכָּנֵס לְתוֹרָה, לְחֻפָּה וּלְמַעֲשִׂים טוֹבִים
Just as he has entered into the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, marriage, and good deeds. (Shabbat 137b)
Even at the start of life, we look ahead to the child’s future growth and accomplishments.
This brings us to Asarah B’Teves, a fast that always coincides with the reading of Vayigash and Vayechi, the parshiyos detailing Yosef’s reconciliation with his brothers, his reunification with Yaakov, and its aftermath( commemorated this year on the Friday before Parshas Vayechi ). Asarah B'Teves is unique among the minor fasts in that, according to some halachic authorities, it would be observed even if it fell on Shabbat, similar to Yom Kippur. This is due to its designation in the Torah as "בְּעֶצֶם הַיּוֹם הַזֶּה" ("on this very day"), indicating its significance just like Yom Kippur .
Thus the Beit Yosef (Orach Chaim 550:4), citing the Rabbeinu David Abudraham highlights the uniqueness of Asarah B’Teves:
וה"ר דוד אבודרהם כתב בהלכות תענית שי' בטבת הוא משונה משאר תעניות שאם היה חל בשבת לא היו יכולין לדחותו ליום אחר מפני שנאמר בו 'בעצם היום הזה' כמו ביום הכיפורים
“The Abudraham writes that the fast of the 10th of Teves is distinct from other fasts because, unlike other fasts, if it were to fall on Shabbos, it could not be postponed, as it is described with the phrase ‘on this very day,’ similar to Yom Kippur.”
The Beit Yosef comments: "ולא ידעתי מנין לו זה"—"I do not know the source for this." Referring to the assertion of the Abudraham that Asarah B'Teves would be observed even if it fell on Shabbat.
This unique characteristic may reflect the profound significance of Asarah B'Teves, likening it to Yom Kippur in its emphasis on personal responsibility and future planning. Asarah B'Teves is not merely a commemoration of the onset of Nebuchadnezzar's siege of Jerusalem;
it serves as a reminder that the ensuing 30 months of siege could have been utilized for reflection and repentance, potentially altering the course of history.
The fast encourages us not to dwell on past suffering but to take proactive steps toward a better future. Similar to Yom Kippur, Asarah B'Teves focuses on forward-thinking—setting aside the past to concentrate on future improvement. These days are not solely for mourning but are opportunities for introspection, growth, and proactive planning for a better tomorrow
In addition to Yom Kippur and Asarah B'Teves, there is a third fast, Taanit Chalom (a fast after a troubling dream), which can be observed even on Shabbat. Unlike other fasts that mourn past tragedies and are forbidden on Shabbat, Taanit Chalom (like Yom Kippur and Asarah B'Teves )addresses anxiety about the future by encouraging introspection and personal growth. The Gemara (Berachot 31b) explains that fasting after a disturbing dream can annul negative decrees, making this practice constructive by shifting focus from sorrow to proactive self-improvement.
On Simchat Torah 5784, Am Yisrael faced unimaginable loss. Yet, rather than succumbing to despair, we united in battle, prayer, and mutual support.
Though the war has now endured for almost 450 days, bringing fear and uncertainty, we remain steadfast in our confidence that, just as in the past, we will persevere and witness brighter days ahead. We are resolved to focus on the future, refusing to dwell on the pain of the past.
As we read the parshiyot of Vayigash and Vayechi and commemorate Asarah B’Teves, we are reminded to direct our thoughts and actions toward the future. The fast, together with the lessons from the parshiyot recounting Yosef and Yaakov's resilience and unity, urges us to take responsibility for what lies ahead—strengthening our commitment to Torah, fostering unity within our communities, and actively shaping a brighter future for Am Yisrael.
The Rambam writes about the transformative potential of each person's actions:
לפיכך צריך כל אדם שיראה עצמו כל השנה כולה כאילו חציו זכאי וחציו חייב, וכן כל העולם חציו זכאי וחציו חייב. חטא חטא אחד—הרי הכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם כולו לכף חובה וגרם לו השחתה; עשה מצוה אחת—הרי הכריע את עצמו ואת כל העולם כולו לכף זכות וגרם לו ולהם תשועה והצלה, שנאמר 'וצדיק יסוד עולם' (משלי י,כה)
Therefore, a person must view themselves all year as if they are half meritorious and half guilty..., and the entire world as equally balanced. If they commit one sin, they tip themselves and the entire world to the side of guilt; if they perform one mitzvah, they tip themselves and the entire world to the side of merit, bringing salvation and deliverance…” (Hilchos Teshuvah 3:4)
Let us demand of ourselves to tip the scales through acts of kindness, unity, and responsibility. As the Rambam challenges us, one good deed can change the course of history:
לפיכך צריך כל אדם שיראה עצמו... חטא חטא אחד... עשה מצוה אחת
“Therefore, a person must view themselves all year as if they are half meritorious and half guilty... If they perform one mitzvah, they tip the scales for themselves and the entire world toward merit and bring salvation.” (Mishneh Torah, Hilchos Teshuvah 3)
The challenge before each of us is clear: perform one mitzvah and change the world!
May Hashem bless us with the wisdom and strength to take responsibility for our actions, the courage to face the challenges ahead, and the unity to rebuild a world filled with Torah, mitzvot, and sanctity. May we merit to see the ultimate redemption, speedily in our days.